I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I didn't notice because vodka
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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