Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize