Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
