So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
