I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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