if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
