just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
