Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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