It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
