he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
