census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
