You made me cry and you don't even care
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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