So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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