i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
