Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
even my farts smell like vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
