how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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