No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
