I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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