I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
