found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My day in three words: secret purse cake
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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