Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
