Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
