I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
