can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize