Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
false alarm. still invincible.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
