I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
