Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
