happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
