Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
