He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
