I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
