We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
