No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
