I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
