Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
