I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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