FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
