3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
