It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
