I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
