I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
