it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
