Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
