I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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