we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
