so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
