well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
