Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
