i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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