I hate all girls vehemently.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Randomize
