Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
