We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
