yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
