She's JV to your varsity
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
