My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
