i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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