I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
