I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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