I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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