Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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