is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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